as told to me by mr.goankar who is a true professional...
1. Symptom: Cold and humid feet.
Cause: Glass is being held at incorrect angle (You are pouring the Drink on your feet).
Cure: Maneuver glass until open end is facing upward.
2. Symptom: The wall facing you is full of lights.
Cause: You're lying on the floor.
Cure: Position your body at a 90-degree angle to the floor.
3. Symptom: The floor looks blurry.
Cause: You're looking through an empty glass.
Cure: Quickly refill with your favorite drink!
4. Symptom: The floor is moving.
Cause: You're being dragged away.
Cure: At least ask where they're taking you!
5. Symptom: You hear echoes every time someone speaks.
Cause: You have your glass on your ear.
Cure: Stop making a fool of yourself!
6. Symptom: Your dad and all your brothers are looking funny.
Cause: You're in the wrong house.
Cure: Ask if they can point you to your house.
7. Symptom: The room is shaking a lot, everyone is dressed in white and the music is very repetitive.
Cause: You're in an ambulance.
Cure: Don't move. Let the professionals do their job.
Three cheers for ...... hic hic hurray!