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Monday, October 26, 2009

Stupid questions...

.
the other day i had gone out with a couple of friends to eat steak at Martins(small goankar joint in colaba)..well we reached late and the steak was over..so we walked all the way to baghdadi...the fired chicken and gravy over there is to die for...so we ordered fired chicken..and half way through the chicken one friend looks up and asks "HEY IS THIS MUTTON OR CHICKEN???"..this just left everyone else at the table myself included stumped..and this without even drinking..imagine wat would have come out  2 pegs down..

next question-everyone probably remembers that really cold winter mumbai had a couple of years back..coldest in whatever decades..well, this same fellow one day asked."HEY IF GLOBAL WARMING IS TAKING PLACE WHY IS IT SO COLD???"....

Saturday, October 3, 2009

how stupid can you get

It never seems to amaze me how stupid people can act sometimes...this evening on the road there were a bunch of people campaigning for this candidate...it was a narrow road,they had kinda blocked it and created a traffic jam..there were drums, loud speakers,fire crackers, the works,as if they had already won the election...to top it off it was in front of a hospital building...imagine doing that in front of a hospital..how stupid can people get...and here is the icing on the cake-the candidate was a DOCTOR  himself...wat a dumbass...
 

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Return Of The King-written by nigel affonso

He was back from the land of the sand dunes n sun
with all the vigor n life, of a 10yr old young gun.
He gave me a call n spoke of a reunion
in the Sunlit place of the comrades n companions

It was with regret, dat i said i'd be away
busy n occupied with art fer many a day.
a reunion on those days wud be impossible fer me
fer other things played on, in my mind, u see

but before u kno it, my mind was on track,
to show respect to the King, i found myself goin bak
n wide open arms swung around each others shoulders
the boys found themselves bak in the platoon of soldiers.

ther once again, the lights turned down low
after a few glasses on the table, we ordered few more.
a night to remember , we had promised ourselves,
lil did we kno how it was all gonna end.

n we decided to treat our ears to sum fusion
all da way to the otherside , we found ourselves headin.
the day turned to night , and so did my mind.
i felt a violent numbness.. the most violent of a kind.

n inside i saw the million shades of blue,
the unforgivin power of a cannabinoid n the '-OH' group
in fact the concoction had the better of us earlier
way earlier before, while the metal Maiden played trooper.

i found myself lost , in the seamless seas of hues
wher red turned to green n black turned to blue
n while down the imploding spiral, i was falling,
a much needed, reassuring voice i heard calling

The King stood ther with his lethal axe in hand
lending out the same to his fallen, frail fellowman.
Asking 'hey boi, do you wanna head bak to Base?'
to which i replied 'Sir please get me outta this place'

n among the wilderness of wicked eyes we lay
being cursed n dissected by evil looks in vile ways
but true to his title, the king stood tall
silencing the wicked , he brought about their fall

all the time, while his fallen brother stumbled
the Steadfast King , marched on n a convoy he summoned.
n once in the car, his brother's carcass, he kept
the skeptics were vanquished, the wounded soundly slept.

n the next thing i kno, i'm miles away at base,
along ther with the king was the the bassist's face.
n we spoke nostalgia, to the early hours of mornin
all the while i prayed for the world to stop whirlin.

den the men became watchers , over their naive, junior comrade
and guided him to his farewell in wee morning hours
he was off to obliviousness , in a town far away
wonderin wat the hell happened jus the previous day.

he dreamed away on the long, journey over the distance
shaking his head to refresh his memory system
n a few days later he called HQ for a report
n he heard the kings voice who kept it sweet n short

'Every SL trip shud be like this dude,
u got out everythn .. includin the previous days food'
i thanked God for the creation of sucha selfless man
a handful can compare to wat only he can.

A band of brethren, a fellowship of fellas
a platoon of soldiers, a team of players
good principles n values, for doing wat is right,
the few simple buggers of the larger than life... Sunlight.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Side effects of alcohol ... And immediate remedies!!!

as told to me by mr.goankar who is a true professional...




1. Symptom: Cold and humid feet.

Cause: Glass is being held at incorrect angle (You are pouring the Drink on your feet).

Cure: Maneuver glass until open end is facing upward.



2. Symptom: The wall facing you is full of lights.

Cause: You're lying on the floor.

Cure: Position your body at a 90-degree angle to the floor.



3. Symptom: The floor looks blurry.

Cause: You're looking through an empty glass.

Cure: Quickly refill with your favorite drink!



4. Symptom: The floor is moving.

Cause: You're being dragged away.

Cure: At least ask where they're taking you!


5. Symptom: You hear echoes every time someone speaks.

Cause: You have your glass on your ear.

Cure: Stop making a fool of yourself!



6. Symptom: Your dad and all your brothers are looking funny.

Cause: You're in the wrong house.

Cure: Ask if they can point you to your house.



7. Symptom: The room is shaking a lot, everyone is dressed in white and the music is very repetitive.

Cause: You're in an ambulance.

Cure: Don't move. Let the professionals do their job.







Three cheers for ...... hic hic hurray!

Monday, June 1, 2009

INVICTUS

"INVICTUS" by William Ernest Henly

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my conquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winched nor cried aloud
Under the bludgeoning of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond the place of wrath and tears
Looms but the horror of the shade
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how straight the gate,
How charged with punishment the scroll,
I am the master of my fate;
I am the captain of my soul.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

sunscreen song

everything you need to know to lead the good life is said by Baz in this song....simply superb...


. wear sunscreen.
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be IT.
The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience.
I will dispense this advice now.
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded. But trust me, in 20 years you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked.
You are NOT as fat as you imagine.
Don't worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.
Do one thing every day that scares you.
Sing.
Don't be reckless with other people's hearts, don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.
Floss.
Don't waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long, and in the end, it's only with yourself.
Remember compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.
Stretch.
Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don't.
Get plenty of calcium.
Be kind to your knees, you'll miss them when they're gone.
Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't, maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't, maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself, either. Your choices are half chance, so are everybody else's. Enjoy your body, use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.
Dance. Even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.
Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.
Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.
Get to know your parents, you never know when they'll be gone for good.
Be nice to your siblings; they are your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.
Understand that friends come and go, but for the precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography in lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.
Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.
Travel.
Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old, and when you do you'll fantasize that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.
Respect your elders.
Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might run out.
Don't mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will look 85.
Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.
But trust me on the sunscreen.

Saturday, April 4, 2009

things to do when yr bored

1)create a blog and put up post like this one
2)tie a rope to the highest branch on the tree and hang from it...but not by your neck thou because that would be really stupid.
3)think of things to do when your bored
4)shave all the hair off your body and watch it grow...
5) do MSc in geology
6)play MENDI-COURT..
7)go on the street and give random people the wet willy..
8)sit under a tree and see how long a crow takes to shit...

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

What I Would Like to Change About India???

This question was once asked to me.

Growing up every child wants to be someone in this world or wants to do something to change it and make it a better place. I’m just like everyone else – before I go out into the world there are a lot of things I would like to change for a better India , and one of them is the ‘ education system’

Our system is more ‘ percentage ‘ than ‘ Learning ‘ oriented. Now a days even 90% is not the benchmark ( sometimes not enough ). Around 30 years ago, getting a distinction was a big achievement. Today there are many reasons for this rise; competition being one of them and partly even parents are to be blamed. They keep pushing their children and making comparisons with others., which in the process make their children feel guilty.

Our education system needs a major makeover. We learn by rot for the sake of passing an exam only to forget about it after the exams. Learning needs to be made fun. It has to enhance creativity and increase ones ability to think logically because when you are out there alone on the job you have to make decisions that will make or break your carrier. And this does not come from reading a textbook hundred times over. This will come from hands on experience. The way the system works in our country, it does not allow us to think. We need to be challenged more.

We need to learn to accept failure and learn from it. Then there would be lesser student suicides. This wont come by only changing the system, but the mindset of society as a whole needs to be changed. They should not look down upon someone who gets low marks or even fails. Even Einstein was a slow learner, but he did well for himself in the end, didn’t He? He had the support of the right people and the right facilities. That is what we need ‘FACILITIES’

By changing the education system India can be on par with the developed countries of the world. But before changing the system, the peole who control it have to be changed.

have a nice day...